Thompson & Audrey
by liamdude5
Summary: Thompson always took crap from the people closest to him so they wouldn't go psycho on each other. But, according to karma, no good deed goes unrewarded. Oneshot. Rated PG 13 for language, implied violence, and mild sexuality.


Tonight, Thompson was planning on simply relaxing at home, a rare night he wouldn't have to do what everybody else told him to do.

Sure, he liked hanging out with Wendy, Robbie, Tambry, Nate, and Lee, but there were some nights when he didn't feel like licking sponges or sliding across the floor with bags of ice down his pants.

But then, he got a text from Robbie saying, "Dude, gang going to Greasy's Diner for hangout night. Be sure to wear your leather tracksuit. ;("

Thompson could relax another night. He was always glad to hang out with his friends. Sure, they liked being jerks to him, making him do embarrasing stuff, but they were still the only friends he had.

So, despite wondering why he was supposed to, Thompson put on his leather tracksuit and headed out.

When Thompson reached Greasy's Diner, he noticed the gang hadn't shown up yet. So, he sat at the counter and ordered a BLT sandwich to keep him busy until the gang got there.

And, sure enough, this was all happening on a night when a group of four teenage vegans were protesting animal cruelty at Greasy's Diner, as they announced on Twitter.

The leader of these protestors was Alan. He acted like a slick street hustler, but looked like an emo wannabee.

Second in command was Alan's brother, Michael. He looked like he was trying desperately to be his brother, and acted in a way that emulated this.

There was also their sister, Zoey. She pretty much said nothing and always looked like a blank slate. The only reason Alan and Michael brought her along was because their mom got sick of her sitting in the house and doing nothing.

The only non family member of the group was Alan's ex, Audrey. She looked reasonably attractive, definitely out of Alan's league, and was the one who introduced Alan to veganism and protests. She only hung out with them to keep the fight alive, but still thought Alan's beliefs and methods were a bit extreme.

"I promise you that none of the animals killed for food here die painfully," Lazy Susan complained, "They all die quick and painlessly."

"A likely story," Alan yelled, "You're making sure those animals suffer cause you like it, you freak."

"Yeah," Michael added on, "You a freak."

"Look," Audrey interjected, "We've accepted that we can't stop every animal from dying, but we still can't stand when an animal is killed more cruely than needed."

"Look," Lazy Susan growled, "I don't have time for this. I have to get some guy a BLT. Now get out of here before I get my shooing broom."

As Lazy Susan walked away from the group, they thought it was time to just give up. But, they decided to stick around and try to hit Greasy's Diner at it's precious blood: the customers.

"One BLT," a waitress announced, handing a BLT to Thompson.

"Thank you," Thompson thanked. The group decided that it was time to strike.

"Excuse me sir," Alan called out. Thompson got a bit confused when he saw a group of four unknown teenagers walking towards him.

"Are you talking to me," Thompson asked.

"As a matter of fact," Alan answered, "I am talking to you."

"He's talking to you," Michael added on, "So stop talking and listen, bitch."

"I couldn't help but notice that your eating a BLT sandwich," Alan noticed.

"Yeah," Thompson replied, "I like them. They're real, uh, good in my mouth."

"Well," Alan persuaded, sitting next to Thompson, "I guess it is a bit hard to argue with food if it tastes good in your mouth, but I don't think you should eat food if it's made with an extra pinch of torment."

"What are you talking about," Thompson asked.

"We think that the animals used in the food here are treated inhumanely," Audrey stated.

"Inhumane treatment," Michael interjected. Thompson simply shook his head at this.

"I don't really like to think about where my food comes from," Thompson replied, "Bums me out."

"Maybe you should be bummed out," Alan growled, getting into Thompson's face and grabbing his shoulders, "So you can help lives of innocent animals be saved."

"You're scaring me," Thompson stuttered.

"Alan," Audrey growled, "I think this guy gets the point. You don't have to..."

"What kind of tracksuit is this," Alan asked.

"Alan," Audrey snapped.

"What kind of tracksuit is this," Alan yelled.

"You wearing a bad tracksuit," Michael yelled, "Cause if you are..."

"It's made of leather," Thompson whimpered, on the verge of tears.

About seven minutes later, Thompson was sitting at a booth, holding an ice pack against his eye. He was in pain from that and the multiple bruises across his body.

The only person who stayed behind was Audrey, sitting across from him. The rest of the group had run away.

"I just wanna say," Audrey apologized, "I'm sorry for the behaviour of those guys. I really think they went too far."

"It's fine," Thompson sighed, "It wasn't your fault."

"I still could've stopped them," Audrey lamented, "As impossible as that seems."

"If you don't mind me asking," Thompson asked, "Why did you stay behind? Why didn't you run away like the other guys?"

"I like you," Audrey answered, "You seem simple and folksy, maybe even a little sweet. Haven't met a guy like that in a while."

"Oh," Thompson stammered, clearly blushing. This got a giggle out of Audrey.

"So," Thompson asked, "What are you doing when you're not protesting stuff?"

"Usual teenager stuff," Audrey answered, "Spending time with friends, playing video games, eating non gluten snacks. What about you?"

"Literally the same thing," Thompson answered, "Except replace non gluten snacks with popcorn butter." This got a laugh out of both teenagers.

"Hey," Audrey stated, "I know this is gonna sound a bit odd, but will you go out with me?"

"Really," Thompson stuttered, "You want to go out with me?"

"Yeah," Audrey replied, "You seem like a decent guy. And you're kinda cute."

"I'm getting kinda scared again," Thompson whispered. This got a laugh out of Audrey.

The next morning, Thompson went over to Robbie's house, cause all the guys were hanging out there.

"So," Robbie asked, "Did you wear the tracksuit last night?"

"I did," Thompson admitted.

"Oh damn," Nate shouted.

"Him and those vegans," Lee shouted, "That's actually kinda scary."

"Did they attack you or something," Robbie excitedly asked.

"Yeah," Thompson answered. He unrolled his shirt sleeve to unveil a large bruise.

"Woah," Nate admired, "That is certainly impressive."

"Those guys may be vegan freaks," Lee acknowledged, "But they really don't fool around."

"Don't you dare call them that," Thompson yelled. The guys were a bit taken back by this sudden outburst.

"Whoa dude," Robbie stammered, "You're getting kinda defensive about the guys who kicked your ass."

"Not all of them kicked my butt," Thompson objected, "Some of them were kinda nice."

"The guys who kicked your ass were kinda nice," Robbie asked.

"Audrey was," Thompson swooned.

"Who the frick is Audrey," Nate asked.

"Audrey is this super sweet girl," Thompson remembered, "We're going out tomorrow night."

"Hang on a second," Robbie questioned, "You're going on a date with a living teenage girl?"

"How much are you paying her," Lee asked.

"I'm not paying her," Thompson objected.

"What kinda hypnotism shit are you pulling on her," Nate asked.

"I'm not doing that," Thompson objected.

"Is she a prisoner in your basement," Robbie asked.

"Why is it so hard to believe a girl will go on a date with me," Thompson yelled.

All of the guys then proceeded to laugh at Thompson. All Thompson could do was sigh and take the abuse.

"And that was exactly what happened when Thompson told us that he would be going on his first date of all time," Robbie toasted, looking directly at the newlyweds, "It didn't make sense to us then and, to be perfectly honest, it still makes no sense. But, I can clearly see that both Thompson and his new wife are happy, so I guess it doesn't really have to make sense. Just remember, Thompson, you've got an awesome girl, and you definitely shouldn't ever forget that."

"Don't plan to," Thompson replied.

"And Audrey, she certainly has a caring man," Robbie added on, "He's crazy about her and he certainly loves her. So, even though it makes no sense, these two are definitely going to be very happy together. To Thompson and Audrey."

"Cheers," the wedding guests let out.

As Robbie sat down, he looked at his family, his wife and five year old son, and he thought about how it didn't seem to make sense he and Tambry were together either.

In fact, he could even remember that they used to hate each other. But, he still loved her and he loved their son. So, like he said in his speech, it didn't matter if it made sense. All that matters is that they love each other. A thought that left Robbie staring at Tambry for a bit too long, getting Tambry's attention.

"What are you doing," Tambry asked, "Thinking about something?"

"Just how lucky I am to have you," Robbie cooed.

"That's gross, Dad," Toby complained.

"It's not gross," Tambry bit back, "It's love."

"Then I guess love is gross," Toby deadpanned.

"That depends on whose love your looking at," Robbie mumbled.

"What does that mean," Toby asked.

"Nothing," Robbie brushed off, "I'll tell you when you're older."

"You two are both freaks," Toby stated.

"I believe that's the voice of little Toby I hear," Thompson greeted as he and Audrey walked up to the table, "How you doing, little guy?"

"You're all sweaty," Toby noted.

"That's cute," Thompson deadpanned, "Stopped being funny seven months ago, though."

"He really is getting bigger though," Audrey noticed, "Must be because he comes from such a nurturing family."

"Thank you," Tambry thanked.

"I had no idea we were nurturing," Robbie stated, "That's kinda kickass."

"Thank you for teaching our son a new word," Tambry sarcastically thanked.

"Please," Toby scoffed, "I know way worse than that."

"Really though," Thompson thanked, "Thank you guys for coming. It means a lot."

"Thank you for the free chicken," Robbie thanked. This got a laugh from Thompson and Audrey.

"Really though," Robbie stated, "Cheers to the both of you. I've never seen Thompson so happy."

"And I intend to keep that smile on his face," Audrey winked.

"Alright," Thompson waved as he and Audrey walked away, "Bye you guys."

"Bye," Robbie and Tambry waved.

"Alright," Robbie whispered, "I know what I said in my toast, but how did he get a girl like that?"

"I have no idea," Tambry replied.

"You two are so bad," Toby smirked.

 **I feel like I should try and explain this story a little bit. I noticed that Thompson from Gravity Falls is a bit like Jerry from Parks & Recreation. They both are very nice, but still put up with a lot of crap from the show's other characters. Then, I remembered how Jerry had a really hot wife and daughters, and nobody on the show understood how Jerry got such a hot wife. So, I thought it might be interesting to have something similar happen to Thompson. I hope you liked my project.**


End file.
